My Excuses, Um, I Mean, Reasons for Not Writing

My kids are actually asleep at the same time.  Let me repeat that.  AT THE SAME TIME.  For those of you who don’t get the amazing statement I just made, let me elaborate.

I’m a former engineer turned stay-at-home mom (SAHM) to two small children.  My entire day revolves around tiring my kids out to the point that they won’t resist a nap in the afternoon.  Today, my one-year old daughter went down without a fight.  My four-year old son, who used to be a rock star napper, has started to fight the afternoon nap.  This is not good.  Especially when I’ve been using their simultaneous downtimes to try and nap.  I mean, write.

Yeah.  That’s the problem.  For the last few months, by the time I wear down my son to the point that he sleeps, I’m too tired to actually write anything.  Here are the thoughts that go through my head when I try to write:

• I need to clean.
• I’m too tired.
• I don’t have a good topic to write about.
• I’m hungry.
• I need coffee.
• What’s on TV?
• I need to thaw something for dinner.
• I should look through carryout menus.
• I need to fold laundry.
• I need to do laundry.
• I’m hungry.
• I need to go grocery shopping.
• I need to check my e-mail.
• I need to clean out my inbox.
• I need new socks.
• I need to lose weight.
• I’m hungry.
• I need to go grocery shopping.

Do you see my problem?  No focus.  Eventually, I just end up sitting on the couch with my phone, launching verbal torpedoes in the comments sections of certain Facebook blogs.  It doesn’t take much energy to eat a cake pop and be a keyboard warrior.  So I haven’t put any new content on this blog for a while.  Not good.

Oh, dear Lord, did I just hear the baby cry?  I’ll make this fast.  If writing begets writing, then what does “no writing” beget?  You guessed it.  NO WRITING.  So I figured that for five or ten minutes, no matter how tired I am or how stupid this post is, I will write about whatever I’m thinking about, do minimal editing, and then just post it.

I have no idea how other people write and manage life.  I really don’t.  For a while, I discovered a process that generated content.  I used the parallel nap time to brainstorm and outline content ideas.  And then at night, after everyone was asleep, I would shoot out a draft on my phone while lying in bed.  The next day, I would polish up the draft at nap time and ship the post.  But the kiddos, as darling as they are, broke the system.  It’s their gift.

So how do amateur writers carve out time from their daily lives to write?  Some famous authors, like Hugh Howey, used to write at work during their lunch breaks.  My lunch break consists of eating my kids’ scraps over the sink two or three hours later when they nap.  So that won’t work for me.  Obviously, I need a new system.

TO ANYONE WHO IS STILL READING THIS BLOG:  Do you have any helpful suggestions for carving out time to write?  Any advice, besides administering cough syrup to my children, would be appreciated.  Thank you!