I need another 30-day challenge. It appears that unless I make this type of public commitment, life has a way of squashing the work ethic out of me. So here it is – I commit to writing 15 minutes of absurdity for 30 days. Let’s go:
CRASH! All of us heard it at the same time. The drawbridge fell to the ground with a loud boom. There were loud shrieks coming from outside.
“The dwarves have made it over the drawbridge,” Director Fussybottom exclaimed, pointing wildly out of the window. “They’re heading into the castle.”
“Oh, my God, we’re under attack!” Professor Pedantic shouted, as he jumped up from his chair and ran towards the door. He collided with Miss Prissy, who was re-entering the room. The contents of her purse went flying as the two of them landed in a heap on the floor.
My heart started to pound. Visions of dwarves running up and down the halls of our school filled me with fear. War is dangerous for heroes like myself. I gulped and asked, “What do we do?”
“Run for your lives,” Professor Pedantic shrieked, as he scrambled to his feet. He ran out of the room without a glance in Miss Prissy’s direction.
Shivani walked over to Miss Prissy and extended her hand. “Can everyone stop acting like a bunch of little girls?” She rolled her eyes as she pulled Miss Prissy to her feet. “Calm down. Let’s think about how to handle this.” She bent over and started collecting the strewn items on the floor.
“Calm down,” Director Fussybottom sputtered. His bushy gray brows knit together in a scowl. “We’re under attack and you’re telling me to calm down?”
“But the dwarves have always been peaceful,” Shivani sighed deeply, as she handed Miss Prissy her purse and walked towards the window. She gestured to the group of dwarves who were still gathered outside of the castle. “I don’t think that they’re attacking us. Look at them. Only a few of them entered the castle. The rest of them are just standing there.”
“Exactly,” Director Fussybottom nodded, shaking his jowls. There was a gleam of triumph in his dark eyes. “They’re just standing there, waiting for the signal to attack us.” He turned to the Chief Warrior at the table. “Samuel, are your men ready?”
“Yes, sir,” Samuel nodded.
“Excellent,” Director Fussybottom sat down at the head of the table. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “You have my authority to remove the dwarves from the castle by any means necessary.”
Samuel nodded and stood up from the table. He paused at the door and turned around. “Sir,” he said hesitantly. “May I have permission to speak freely?”
Fussybottom nodded. “Permission granted.”
It was obvious that Samuel felt uncomfortable. He stood erect, but lowered his gaze. “With all due respect, sir, I believe that we should approach the dwarves with caution.”
Fussybottom looked startled. “Well, of course, Samuel. You’re the Warrior. Use whatever strategy you feel is necessary. Just toss those dwarves out of the castle.”
“No,” Samuel shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.” He stopped.
Fussybottom drummed his fingers on the table. “Well, out with it, Samuel. Speak your mind quickly. I have a castle to protect.”
Samuel lifted his head to meet Fussybottom’s gaze. “I meant that I agree with Shivani. We shouldn’t attack the dwarves yet.”
Shivani smirked. I groaned. If Samuel wanted Fussybottom to listen to him, then mentioning Shivani wasn’t a good idea.
Fussybottom raised one eyebrow. “Are you questioning an order?”
Samuel looked down at his feet. He muttered, “No sir.”
“Good,” Fussybottom waved him off. “Then go. Defend the castle.” Once Samuel left the room, Fussybottom turned to Professor Serenity and Miss Prissy. “What about the school?”
“Heavens,” Miss Prissy exclaimed, as she started to fan herself with her pudgy hands. “What will we do about the children?”
“Prissy, why don’t you take the younger children into the catacombs? There are plenty of supplies. You and the children could live down there for days if you needed to,” Professor Serenity replied. Her red hair glistened in the sunlight. “The older children can help me to set up blockades around the school, just in case the dwarves breach Samuel’s castle defenses.”
“Excellent idea, Margaret,” Director Fussybottom nodded. He smiled at Professor Serenity. It was an odd sight on his weathered face. “I can always count on you in times of stress.”
Shivani snorted. I shot her a warning glance before she mentioned Fussybottom’s obvious crush on Professor Serenity.