Day 2 of 30: Write 15 Minutes of Absurdity

Day 2 of 30.  I’m having fun with this absurdity theme.  It’s very freeing as a writer when you allow yourself to be as ridiculous as possible.  If someone doesn’t like what you wrote, who cares?  It’s supposed to be stupid!  I’m feeling a “Star Wars” vibe today, so I think this story needs a “Rebel Alliance.”  Here goes:

I’ve never met a dwarf before, but I had no idea that one could be so pretty.  The female dwarf had dark brown hair and big blue eyes.  She was about a head taller than everyone else.  I guess she was their leader, because she was the first one to speak.  “My name is Aryana.  We are looking for a Yogi Master called the Great Ghost Warrior,” the dwarf said.

“The Great Ghost Warrior?” Shivani repeated, raising her dark eyebrows.  “Who comes up with these names?”

“This is serious,” I said, frowning at Shivani.  I turned to the Elders at the Council table.  “Do any of you know someone called the Great Ghost Warrior?”

“I haven’t heard that name in a long time,” Professor Serenity glanced at Director Fussybottom and hesitated before speaking again.  “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Every Warrior in Bharat has been trained at this school,” Director Fussybottom nodded.  “I don’t know who else it could be.”

“So you do know of the Great Ghost Warrior?” the dwarf’s blue eyes lit up.  She smiled, revealing small, even white teeth.

“You’re kind of tall for a dwarf,” I said.  The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them.  “But still small enough for me to pick up pretty easily.”

The Elders stared at me in shock.  I flushed when Shivani gasped.  “Charlie!”

The dwarf turned towards me and scowled.  The next thing I knew, she took two steps in my direction and kicked me in the shins.

“Son of a,” I muttered, bending over to rub my shins.  For a little person, the dwarf could kick really hard.

“I’m not a dwarf, you big imbecile.”  She stomped back to the rest of her group, who started snickering.  “And I don’t need anyone to pick me up.”

Shivani doubled over with laughter.  She picked up a napkin from the side table and dabbed at the tears streaming down her face.  “I don’t know who you are, but I already love you.”

The dwarf looked surprised, but she gave Shivani a small smile before speaking again.  “May I speak with your leader?  This is a matter of much urgency.”  She tilted her head in my direction.  “Please tell me that he isn’t your leader.”

Shivaji choked on her drink.  She slammed her water bottle back on the table, gasping.  “Oh, God, no.  Charlie is definitely NOT our leader.”  She frowned.  “Although your other option isn’t much better.”

“Shivani,” I gasped, glancing at the Elders Council.  She was talking about Director Fussybottom while he was in the room with us.

Shivani shrugged.

“Okay, that’s enough you two,” Professor Serenity said sternly.  Shivani and I immediately walked back to the table and took our seats before she continued.  “This is serious.”  She stood up  and pulled out a chair from the table.  “Please have a seat and refresh yourselves.”  She waved to the empty chairs in the room.  “Who are you?”

Aryana turned to her group and nodded.  Once they sat down at the table, members of Miss Prissy’s staff brought each guest a bottle of water.  They placed plates of bread, cheese and fruits on the table.  The dwarves dove into the food as if they hadn’t eaten anything for days.  Aryana took a few sips of water before she spoke.

“We’re RAD,” Aryana said.

“RAD?” I repeated, confused.  I swear that I heard Shivani choke on her water again, but when Professor Serenity looked at her, Shivani remained silent.

“We are the Rebel Alliance of Dwarves,” Aryana explained.  “Our mission is to defend the kingdom of Dwarves.”

“Well, that makes sense,” Miss Prissy nodded and helped herself to a plate of cheese and bread.

Shivani frowned.  “No, it doesn’t.  Why are you rebels?  Who are you defending your kingdom from?”

“Yeah,” I said, still thinking about the kick in the shins.  “And you’re not even a dwarf.  Why are you a member?”

Aryana scowled at me.  “The dwarves are my allies.  The people of my kingdom have sworn to protect them.”

“Protect them from who?” Shivani asked.  She actually looked serious.

“The Evil Emperor.”  All of us turned to stare.  The dwarf sitting next to Aryana actually stopped eating long enough to whisper.  His eyes were wide with fear.

Aryana wrapped an arm around his shoulder and continued to speak. “This is why it is urgent that we find the Great Ghost Warrior.”  Aryana looked around the room.  “Is he here?”

“There was a warrior,” Professor Serenity started slowly.

Miss Prissy nodded.  “Oh, I remember him.  He used to live in a cave.”

“But he isn’t here anymore,” Director Fussybottom interjected.  He frowned at Aryana.  “Why don’t you tell us what you want from him?  We can help you.”

“No, you can’t.” Aryana shook her head.  “He’s the only one who can help us.  We’ve been traveling for weeks, searching for the Great Ghost Warrior.  I have an important message for him.”

“Well, what is it?” Director Fussybottom said, leaning forward.  He extended one hand out towards Aryana.  “Let’s see.”

Aryana frowned at him.  “No.  This message is for his eyes only.”

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